If you’re a parent going through a divorce, one of your primary concerns is surely your children—how they will handle this major upheaval in their lives. The fact that you’re concerned about your children’s emotional health shows you’re on the right track. Here are some ways you can protect them during and after the divorce.
- Make co-parenting a priority. Even though you’re no longer a couple, you and your ex will always both be your children’s parents. Do your best to stay on the same page regarding the best interests and well-being of your children, not only during divorce but also thereafter. Check in with your ex periodically regarding this overall goal—it’s that important—as is involving the other parent as much as possible.
- Keep as much as possible the same for your children. The more regularity, consistency and familiarity your children have during this time, the better—especially if you can keep things like friends, activities, bedrooms and school the same.
- Allow them to express their feelings. For your children, your divorce is essentially the death of their family, at least as they always knew it, and there will probably be a grieving process. Let them cry and be angry and everything in between, and support them when they do. If you feel like they are having trouble dealing with the divorce, seek help sooner rather than later.
- Don’t put them in the middle. This most classic of divorce advice regarding children is oft-repeated for a good reason. Not putting your children in the middle between you and your ex includes refraining from saying negative things about them in front of the kids and not having them choose sides, especially by asking with whom they’d prefer to live.
- Be honest, but also maintain boundaries. Your children should know what is happening in the family and that the divorce isn’t their fault, but remember you are still the caretaker. Don’t share your worries and overly personal details as your children need you to be the responsible, capable adult in order to feel safe and secure.
Going through a divorce with children can be traumatic for everyone involved. Let’s talk about how you can make sure you’re doing what’s best for your kids along the way. Call us at (314) 454-9100 or send a message today.
About the Author
Steven Spewak is an estate planning attorney whose client’s are confident and secure that they, their loved ones and their legacies are protected.
As an experienced attorney, Steven works with his clients in the areas of estate planning, trusts, probate, asset protection and business succession planning. He is known in the industry for providing exceptional client value and turn-key service.